Yes and … yes but I

In my a recent post I explored what kind of practice might support “rapid and fluid midcourse correction”. During last week New Zealand based consultant, Stephen Billing, posted a short video on his Changing Organisations blog. In it he explored the idea of joint enquiry.

I liked the video because Stephen speaks about joint enquiry in a very practical and straightforward way. For me joint enquiry is a really practical, day-to-day way of not closing off possibilities too soon and really exploring what is possible rather than having to have the right answer.

This is clearly an excerpt from a workshop or a speaking engagement so I’m sure Stephen gave an answer to my next question but his video is a good way to introduce it.

So, how do you initiate this kind of thing in an environment when people are more likely to be trying to convince each other that their point of view is right than engaging in mutual exploration of different viewpoints?

The most practical thing I’ve ever come across on this comes from Australian psychiatrist Julian Short in a great little book called An Intelligent Life. In a chapter entitled “The Anatomy of an Argument” he proposes a simple way of putting an “alternative” view without it necessarily turning into the typical situation with you in the blue corner and the other person in the red corner hurling logical and argument at each other.

These are the “assertive steps” he suggests:

1. ‘This is your idea as I understand it [straightforward, non-judgmental re-statement of what you’ve heard]‘
2. ‘This is your idea as I understand it [straightforward, non-judgmental re-statement of what you’ve heard] I also see that your position must be reasonable because you are a reasonable person [I don’t think you say this exactly, but you do say something that acknowledges the person and their understanding. It could be as simple as “I can see how this makes sense to you.’]
3. ”This is your idea as I understand it [straightforward, non-judgmental re-statement of what you’ve heard] I also see that your position must be reasonable because you are a reasonable person, BUT‘ [draws a line in the sand to denote where one “truth” ends and another begins. Sometimes AND works as well when you want to add a perspective which both builds on and alters what’s been said.]
4. ”This is your idea as I understand it [straightforward, non-judgmental re-statement of what you’ve heard] I also see that your position must be reasonable because you are a reasonable person, BUT I, [takes ownership and responsibility for what you are about to say next]
5. ”This is your idea as I understand it [straightforward, non-judgmental re-statement of what you’ve heard] I also see that your position must be reasonable because you are a reasonable person, but I feel [You could also say … believe, wonder, think, suspect, imagine,consider, propose – any soft, non invasive verb that suits the context and what you are about to say next]
6. ”This is your idea as I understand it [straightforward, non-judgmental re-statement of what you’ve heard] I also see that your position must be reasonable because you are a reasonable person, but I feel another way of looking at it might be [short clear explanation of your view]
7. ”This is your idea as I understand it [straightforward, non-judgmental re-statement of what you’ve heard] I also see that your position must be reasonable because you are a reasonable person, but I feel another way of looking at it might be [short clear explanation of your view], verbal full stop‘.

For me the power in this is ultimately in the conjunctions … the BUT and the AND.

My next question, of course, is: how do I remain open in what follows. Here is some further advice, this time from Rob Poynton’s book Everything’s an Offer

On stage it is vital that improvisers accept offers … It is by accepting offers that they join one idea to another and create flow in their story. If they block offers, they cut flow (or prevent it from ocurring) and disconnect ideas and people.

I have this quote courtesy of Geoff Brown. To read Geoff’s take on improvisation and to see it in action read his reflections (and watch the video’s) of a recent musical experience click HERE.

So during the coming week see if you can find some opportunities to give this a try in situations that aren’t make or break.

It takes some practice and certainly leads to a range of responses. Some people are so used to an “argumentative” response that they don’t even notice at first that you are doing something different. Others are quite put off by this kind of response and don’t quite know what to do next. Others grab the opportunity with both hands and magical stuff happens!